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This Early Retiree Thought His Friends Would Be Happy For Him, And How Much He Saved Up. Instead, They Just Repeated, 'It's Not Fair'

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This Early Retiree Thought His Friends Would Be Happy For Him, And How Much He Saved Up. Instead, They Just Repeated, 'It's Not Fair'

After 36 years in the workforce, a 57-year-old man finally hit his goal: early retirement. To celebrate, he and his wife hosted a summer barbecue in their backyard with friends and neighbors of a similar age. That evening took a sour turn.

Revealing A Retirement Number That Sparked Resentment

As the group chatted about retirement plans, the conversation turned to savings. Guests were sharing how much they had put aside. Most said between $200,000 and $500,000. When asked, the host was frank. "I said I started as early as I could and ended up with 2.3 mill in my 401(k)," he wrote in a recent Reddit post. "Plus, I get a pension."

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The response from some of his guests was not congratulatory. Instead, two people got visibly upset and repeated, “It's not fair.”

According to the poster, these same people had earned more than he did throughout their careers. "They made different choices," he said. "I made a conscientious decision a long time ago to shoot for retirement in my mid-50s and worked hard to do so."

‘Stealth Wealth’ Is The Rule For A Reason

Hundreds of people in the FIRE, or Financial Independence, Retire Early subreddit responded, overwhelmingly agreeing on one thing: never share your number.

“Never disclose your income or net worth to friends, acquaintances, or family. Ever,” one commenter wrote. “Inevitably, someone will resent it.”

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Another person said directly, “This is why you don't ever share how much money you got, even with your family.”

One early retiree who left work at 33 shared, “I don't talk numbers with people in my life outside my wife for this reason. If people ask, I just say I’m an asset manager—of my own assets.”

Some advised playing it down: “I would have said I retired with 300k and I'm scraping by, but that I valued retiring now over being financially comfortable,” one person commented.

Many echoed a similar sentiment: even close friends can react poorly. “I mistakenly told my friend about my investing,” one commenter shared. When he didn't get the same results, he called index funds gambling. “So honestly? At this point I just don't talk about it.”

See Also: Can you guess how many retire with a $5,000,000 nest egg? The percentage may shock you.

People Don’t See The Sacrifice, Only The Outcome

One person pointed out the disconnect: "Nobody sees the sacrifices that you’ve made to get to where you are." Others pointed out that envy often replaces curiosity.

"They believe they're better than you because they made more money. Finding out you have more investments upended their worldview," one wrote. "That was upsetting to them."

Another simply said: “Jealousy is an ugly color, but it is some people’s fashion choice.”

Say Less, Celebrate Quietly

The retiree in question may have expected his barbecue guests to be inspired by his discipline and planning. Instead, he left the party with a new lesson: when it comes to money, most people don't want to know the truth if it makes them feel behind.

"People get weird. Be a closet millionaire," one early retiree advised. "That's the goal."

Read Next: Warren Buffett once said, "If you don't find a way to make money while you sleep, you will work until you die." Here’s how you can earn passive income with just $10.

Image: Shutterstock

 

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