3.5 Reasons to Be a Vampire and Step into the Bloodbath

FRANKFURT - The first reason to go long stocks in this bloodbath is because the media is all about sensationalism and sex. The Debt Ceiling TV drama was much ado about nothing. It was an excuse for talking heads to run around and scream that everything was going to end, the U.S. was going to default, the AAA rating was dust, and we'd all be forced to eat dirt tomorrow. There's a sex angle somewhere but I can't see it.

Please. Are we really such idiots?

Nothing's changed! That's the second reason to be a vampire and drink the blood of the bears. Sure, more people are receiving food stamps (45.753 million in May) and employment figures are not improving, but toxic asset are still allowed to be held at fantasy valuations and more quantitative easing from Helicopter Ben is coming this month. We're far from confronting reality and it will go on until it doesn't--that could be years down the road (think Japan).

The third reason to buy stocks is because you got a brain and a computer doesn't. Seven straight down sessions was the work of algorithms and not people. This isn't the 30s or even the 80s: computers make most of the trades these days and prey on your pitiful human fear and greed. Plastic boxes want to own you. Birinyi and Biggs aren't selling, are they?

To bet the market will rise, buy SPDR S&P 500 (NYSE: SPY). For leverage, try Rydex 2x S&P 500 ETF (NYSE: RSU) which seeks to replicate twice (200%) the daily performance of the S&P 500 Index. Another bullish play could be ProShares Ultra QQQ (NYSE: QLD), which seeks to return twice the daily performance of the NASDAQ-100 Index.

And reason 3.5 is not a reason, but something else. People that don't enjoy life have been talking about the end of the world for centuries. Don't think you're so special.