They Chose To Have A Baby — But Assumed Grandma Would Pay For It? Suze Orman Isn't Having It

When a listener named Lynn wrote in to Suze Orman's "Women & Money" podcast, she wasn't just asking a financial question — she was asking a parenting and values question, too. Lynn's daughter and her partner are expecting a child and plan to take unpaid leave after the baby arrives. 

Now, they're asking Lynn and her husband for $1,500 a month to cover child care. Lynn, who says she and her husband can afford it and have helped generously in the past, is having second thoughts.

Orman didn't hold back. Her response? The real issue isn't about whether Lynn can help — it's about whether her daughter and daughter-in-law should have assumed she would.

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A Generous Grandma — With Questions

In her message, Lynn made it clear she's a longtime fan of Orman's financial teachings. She's managed her family's finances, acted generously toward her children, and wants to help. But this time, she's hesitating — not because of the dollar amount, but because of the implications.

"Where I stumble," Lynn wrote, "is in the feeling that they should be living within their means." She wonders if helping this time might be sending the wrong message about financial responsibility.

"They Planned the Baby — But Not the Budget"

Orman pointed out what many listeners might have been thinking: this wasn't an accidental pregnancy. The couple — two women — planned to have a child, which means they had time to think about the costs involved.

"Did they just assume when they had their child that you were going to take care of it?" Orman asked. 

She questioned why both partners are taking two months of unpaid leave, instead of staggering their time off or keeping one income flowing to help cover future costs.

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A Conversation, Not a Handout

Rather than give a firm "yes" or "no," Orman encouraged Lynn to have an honest discussion with her daughter and daughter-in-law. The key question? What was their plan for child care, and how did they expect to cover it?

Orman suggested that if Lynn chooses to provide financial help, it should be treated like a loan, not a gift. Drawing up a formal agreement — with repayment terms and an interest rate — would set expectations clearly. If $1,500 a month continues for two years, the total support could reach $36,000. That's not a small sum, even for generous grandparents.

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When Helping Starts to Hurt

This situation touches on a deeper issue: how financial support can sometimes create tension between generations. As Orman noted, Lynn may feel more like a bank than a grandmother. That's a signal it's time to re-examine the dynamics of giving — especially when it's expected, not requested.

"If Lynn feels like she's a bank," Orman said, "then she needs to act like a bank…and she should have a contract drawn up, seriously."

The Bottom Line

Family support is personal, and no two situations are alike. But Orman's advice to Lynn offers a valuable reminder for anyone in a similar position: financial help is most effective when it's part of a thoughtful conversation — not an automatic response. Especially when it comes to long-term commitments like child care, it's okay to ask tough questions first.

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