Zings Of The Day

Shares of Tesla Motor (NASDAQ: TSLA) rose sharply today after it disclosed a $100 million deal with Toyota (NYSE: TM) to provide parts for an electric version of the Rav4. Great. So Americans automotive future rests on Japan. Haven't I seen this one before? Several banks are weighing bids for...

Borders Group canceled an upcoming bankruptcy auction and will close its doors for good, as it liquidates. The final chapter is titled "End game." Or 50% off. Whichever works for you. Bank of America Corporation (BAC) today reported a net loss of $8.8 billion, or $0.90 per diluted share....

Carl Ichan disclosed this morning that he wants to buy Clorox (NYSE: CLX) for $76.50 per share. I guess he's trying to get that smell of his failed bid for Blockbuster out. Google (NASDAQ: GOOG) blew past Wall Street's most bullish expectations, as it alleviated investor concerns about its battle...

Swedish regulators raided Nasdaq OMX Group (NASDAQ: NDAQ) as the exchange tries to bring in high-frequency traders. I hope it was the Swedish bikini team that was doing the raiding. The Italian government was forced to call a confidence vote on an austerity package. From the austerity, the...

Bank of Italy governor Mario Draghi said that Italian banks are solid despite the financial crisis, and will easily pass European banking stress tests. Yea, they have a Tier 1 capital ratio of 5% mozzarella, and 6% spaghetti. Capital One Financial Corp., (NYSE': COF) reported second-quarter net...

Nestlé said this morning it had agreed to pay $1.7 billion for a 60 percent stake in Chinese confectioner, Hsu Fu Chi International. I wonder if these candies will tell me my fortune? Today's fortune: You just paid $1.7 billion for something that probably isn't worth that much. Small-business...

President Barack Obama and Congress are going to work over the weekend to try to reach a deal about deficit reduction and raising the debt ceiling. Since this requires real leadership, I want to know one thing. Why are our politicians involved? The IMF approved sending more than 3 billion euros...

News Corp. (NASDAQ: NWSA) is facing new head winds to complete its purchase for British Sky Broadcasting Group PLC due to political repercussions from a scandal at its British tabloid, News of the World. News of the World, which is being shut down, supposedly hacked into the mobile-phone voice...

OM Group Inc. (NYSE: OMG), the world's largest cobalt producer, is going to buy Vacuumschmelze GmbH & Co. KG from One Equity Partners LLC for around $1 billion. For $1 billion, you better get a new name. That's way too many letters. Mobile operators in the European Union will be ordered to...

The U.S. International Trade Commission essentially shot down a case by Eastman Kodak Co. (NYSE: EK), saying Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) and Research in Motion (NASDAQ: RIMM) did not infringe on patents from Eastman Kodak. Maybe they should have called Bill Cosby. He would've known what to do. Apple...

U.S. banks are less healthy than Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, as they hold a much higher rate of defaulted mortgages on their books than the mortgage giants. I really wish this was a joke. It's not though. I'm very depressed now. Somebody go get me a Xanax. Lloyds Banking Group PLC's shares...

Nike Inc (NYSE: NKE) reported strong earnings last night, as higher revenues offset higher costs, and the company showed surprising strength for the future. I guess "Just Do It" is doing just fine. Microsoft Corp (NASDAQ: MSFT) released its Office 365 software, bringing Microsoft Office to the...

French banks have agreed in large part to an outline to roll over holdings of maturing Greek bonds to prevent default. Of course the French rolled over. It's what they do. President Barack Obama is confident that both Democrats and Republicans can figure out how to increase the U.S. debt ceiling...

Trading in Italian bank stocks was suspended today after a sudden drop in share prices. It was found out that the banks did not have enough buffalo mozzarella on their balance sheets. European Union leaders promised to give Greece more money to help it from being bankrupt. Fiscally bankrupt no,...

Supposedly Electronic Arts (NASDAQ: ERTS) is in talks to buy PopCap Games for over $1 billion. PopCap makes games like Bejeweled and Plants vs Zombies. Are you sure Electronic Arts wasn't trying to buy PopTarts? That would be more delicious than buying a company associated with Zombies.